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If you’re reading this, something has probably been building for a while — and the ways you’ve been handling it aren’t working as well as they used to.
It might be something specific and recent, or something you have carried for a long time. It might be your idea, or your partner’s. You might know exactly what you want to talk about, or you might only know that things have not felt right for a while.
Men come to us at every one of those points, and none of them is the wrong place to start. If you would rather speak with someone before booking anything, a free introductory call is available.
There is no single reason men book a first appointment, and no reason that is too small to bring.
You do not need to have worked out which of these applies to you, or whether it is serious enough. Sorting that out is part of the work rather than a requirement for starting it.
A fair number of the men we see booked their first appointment because their partner asked them to, or because it was made clear that something had to change. Some arrive fairly certain they are there to have their character assessed.
That is a legitimate way to start. Nobody is going to be told what they should have done differently, and your therapist is not working from anyone else’s account of the situation.
What tends to happen is that the reason shifts. Men who come in on someone else’s behalf often find, three or four sessions along, that there is something they want out of it themselves — usually not the thing their partner named. That is when the work starts moving.
If you are not sure you want to be there, say so in the first session. It is a more useful place to begin than pretending otherwise.
Joel ten Brinke served in the military, and he works with first responders.
For police, fire, paramedic, dispatch, and corrections personnel, that matters. There is a difference between a therapist who has read about operational stress and one who has worked inside an environment where you are expected to function regardless of what you have just seen. You will not have to translate, and you will not have to justify why you did not simply talk about it at the time.
Joel works with critical incident stress, cumulative exposure, sleep disruption, anger and hypervigilance at home, and the difficulty many members have in shifting between who they are at work and who they are with their family.
Veterans Affairs Canada covers psychotherapy and social work services in Ontario for eligible clients.
Most men arrive braced for something more uncomfortable than what happens. The first session is largely your therapist trying to understand what is going on and what you want to be different.
From there it is a working conversation with a purpose. You set the pace of what gets talked about and when.
Some men find they have a great deal to say once they start. Others find it slow and awkward for the first few sessions. Both are normal, and neither means it is not working.
Meet our therapists for men in Cambridge
That is one of the most common things men say in a first session. Counselling is not reserved for crises, and plenty of men arrive having managed for years before deciding they would rather not keep managing this way. Waiting until things are unmistakably bad tends to make the work longer rather than shorter.
Only if it turns out to be relevant, and only when you are ready. A great deal of useful work happens entirely in the present.
Then say that. Your therapist will take it from there. Arriving without a prepared explanation is completely normal.
Joel sees men in person at our Cambridge office and virtually across Ontario. Tell our coordinators if this matters to you and they will work with it.
Yes, within the legal and ethical limits your therapist will go through with you in your first session.
Call our Cambridge office and you will speak with one of our client care coordinators. They will ask a few questions about what you are looking for, suggest a couple of therapists who would suit, and let you choose.
Sessions with most of our therapists are covered by extended health benefits. It’s worth checking your coverage to see if registered social workers or psychotherapists are covered.
Most men book a first appointment directly. If you would rather get a sense of someone first, the free introductory call is there for that. It costs nothing, because that step is usually the hardest one.
Call: 226-666-2872
Toll Free: 888-699-7817
Text: 226-916-5309
Email: info@greenvalleycounselling.com
24 Queen Square, Cambridge, ON N1S 1H6